Parents are on devices during meals even more than their kids. Here’s how to rethink family dinner

Parents Are More Likely Than Kids to Use Devices During Family Meals

Parents are on devices during meals – As the school day winds down, the challenge of coordinating schedules for parents and children often becomes a complex balancing act. After picking up a child from math tutoring at 2 p.m., another might head to soccer practice by 4:30, while a third attends dance class until 8 p.m. By the time the family is finally home, the idea of sharing a meal together—like the promised Taco Tuesday leftovers—feels like an afterthought. Despite the growing recognition of the value of shared meals, many families struggle to carve out consistent time for this practice, especially in a world dominated by digital distractions.

Media Use During Family Dinners: A Shared Habit

A recent study published in the journal *JAMA Pediatrics* highlights a surprising trend: parents are more frequently engaged with their devices during family meals than their children. Researchers surveyed over 350 parents and found that more than 75% used smartphones or other screens during their last family dinner. Children aged 4 to 10 were nearly as active, with almost 70% participating in some form of media use. This phenomenon, often overlooked, may be undermining the very purpose of family time.

“If you have your device and you’re constantly checking it at the table, it can affect a valuable moment parents have with their children in the day, and it can have some effect on the relationship they have with their children,” said Cecilia Sada Garibay, a co-author of the study and a Ph.D. candidate at the University of Arizona.

Garibay, who also teaches at the School of Communication at Universidad Panamericana, emphasized that these habits are not just about convenience. “Media use is finding its way into our lives more than we may realize,” she noted. The study reveals that even when families succeed in gathering for a meal, the presence of screens can dilute the emotional bond they’re meant to strengthen.

The Emotional Toll of Distractions

Researchers have long argued that family meals offer a range of benefits, from promoting healthier eating habits to reducing the risk of substance use among teenagers. However, the study’s findings suggest that these advantages are only partially realized if the table is also a battlefield of notifications and scrolling. Dr. Margie Skeer, a professor in public health and community medicine at Tufts University School of Medicine, stressed that the emotional benefits of family dinners depend on more than just the food served.

“It’s actually not what’s at the meal at all that matters,” Skeer explained. “It’s that family meals can provide a built-in space for checking in, sharing feelings, emotions. It’s consistent family connection.”

Skeer, who wasn’t involved in the new research, pointed out that the act of sitting together—free from distractions—creates a sense of belonging and trust. “When parents make the time to connect with their children at distraction-free family dinners, the kids realize they’re being prioritized,” she added. This insight underscores the importance of intentionally creating space for meaningful interactions.

Time Constraints and the Need for Intentionality

Garibay acknowledged that modern life often squeezes family time into tight corners. “I know; I have four children,” she said, highlighting the logistical hurdles parents face. Yet, she argued that these challenges make family meals even more essential. “The more hectic our lives get, the more we need to focus on moments that foster connection,” she added.

The study also revealed that media consumption varies widely among families. While large-screen devices like TVs might be less common, smartphones are prevalent, often acting as a silent observer during conversations. This dynamic can shift the focus of the meal from human interaction to digital engagement, leaving little room for emotional nourishment.

Reimagining Family Dinners

Dr. Anne Fishel, an associate professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School and director of Massachusetts General Hospital’s Family and Couples Therapy Program, has long advocated for family dinners as a cornerstone of healthy development. Her initiative, the Family Dinner Project, was launched in 2010 to help parents integrate these meals into their routines despite busy schedules.

“Shared mealtimes are a ritual that creates an anchor, predictability, and a sense of identity,” Fishel wrote in an email. “Rituals are as comforting and welcome to adults as they are to children.”

Fishel, who wasn’t part of the recent study, highlighted the role of tradition in reinforcing family bonds. She believes that even in the digital age, the ritual of gathering around a table can offer a rare opportunity for focused connection. “Mealtimes are the most reliable opportunity many families have for daily interaction,” she said, emphasizing the need for parents to reclaim these moments.

Strategies for a More Connected Family Dinner

To maximize the impact of family meals, experts suggest intentional strategies to minimize distractions. This includes setting aside devices before sitting down, creating a designated “tech-free” zone, or using apps that limit screen time during meals. Some parents have taken it a step further by opting for landlines instead of smartphones for their children, ensuring that their attention remains on the conversation.

Garibay and others warn that the emotional benefits of family dinners are not automatic. “Even if you manage to have a meal together, the presence of screens can weaken the quality of that time,” she said. She advocates for parents to recognize their own device habits and model mindful behavior. “When you’re focused on your phone, your children may feel like they’re not being given your full attention,” she added.

For families struggling to balance responsibilities with connection, the study’s findings serve as a reminder that small adjustments can make a big difference. Whether it’s starting a meal with a shared activity or designating specific times for conversation, these efforts can help transform dinner from a routine obligation into a meaningful ritual. As the research shows, the act of sitting together matters more than the specific content being consumed, especially when that content is digital.

The Bigger Picture: Beyond the Table

While the study focuses on mealtime habits, its implications extend to broader discussions about family dynamics and child development. The widespread presence of media in daily life means that even the most well-intentioned parents may inadvertently pass on their own habits to their children. “It’s not just about reducing screen time, but about creating a space where human connection takes precedence,” Garibay said.

For families navigating the complexities of modern life, the challenge is not just about time management—it’s about redefining what matters most. As Fishel’s work demonstrates, family dinners can be a powerful tool for building trust, fostering open communication, and creating a sense of stability in a chaotic world. “The consistency of shared meals can be a lifeline for children,” she wrote. “It’s a moment to feel seen, heard, and valued.”

Ultimately, the study encourages a shift in perspective: family meals are not just about eating together, but about creating a space where relationships thrive. By prioritizing these moments, parents can help ensure that their children grow up with the emotional foundation they need to navigate an increasingly connected, yet fragmented, digital landscape.