Want to be happier? You may need to think more about death
Want to be happier? You may need to think more about death
Want to be happier You may need – The CNN Original Series “Kara Swisher Wants to Live Forever” delves into the lives and philosophies of individuals and movements that are redefining the quest for extended life. Through her journey, Swisher investigates how modern practices and mindsets can enhance not only the length of life but also its quality. One intriguing method she highlights is a tradition from Bhutan, where contemplating death is woven into daily routines as a tool for cultivating joy and minimizing anxiety about mortality. This practice, which involves reflecting on the finite nature of existence five times a day, has sparked curiosity about its relevance in contemporary wellness discussions.
Journalist Kara Swisher often encounters quotes about death, which she absorbs with a mindset rooted in curiosity rather than despair. For her, these reflections are not a sign of gloom but an intentional act to foster resilience and perspective. The Bhutanese approach, she explains, encourages people to confront their own impermanence as a way to appreciate the present and prioritize what truly matters. “When you accept death,” Swisher notes, “it promotes community, it promotes meaning.” Her insight underscores the idea that acknowledging mortality can shift focus from anxiety to action, prompting individuals to ask: “What are you going to do with the time you have?”
Research on Mortality Reflection
Studies have shown that mortality contemplation can have profound psychological effects. A 2007 investigation revealed that individuals who regularly engage with thoughts of death tend to experience a heightened awareness of positive emotions. This finding suggests that reflecting on the end of life doesn’t necessarily lead to sadness but can instead sharpen one’s appreciation for the moments that define existence. Similarly, a 2017 study linked open discussions about death to a sense of relief from the fear of it. Participants who shared their anxieties or explored the concept of mortality reported feeling more at ease with the idea of their own eventual passing.
Dr. Brian Carpenter, a professor of psychological and brain sciences at Washington University in St. Louis, emphasizes how cultural attitudes toward death can influence people’s readiness for it. He points out that many Americans tend to avoid conversations about death, which can create a disconnect between their understanding of life and its inevitable conclusion. “When you accept death,” he explains, “it promotes community, it promotes meaning.” By integrating mortality into daily life, individuals may develop a deeper sense of purpose and connection, even if they don’t fully eradicate their fears.
Why Fear of Death Isn’t Universal
While fear of death is common, it isn’t universal. Dr. Erin Emery-Tiburcio, a geropsychologist at Rush University in Chicago, clarifies that many people don’t inherently dread the end of life. Instead, their anxiety stems from the possibility of suffering or loss. “To say that every human fears death is not accurate,” she says. “Lots of folks don’t actually fear the ending of life.” This distinction is crucial because it highlights how cultural narratives shape individual experiences. For example, younger generations often lack exposure to older adults living fully, which can lead to negative stereotypes about aging. Emery-Tiburcio explains, “When younger generations don’t have interactions or relationships with older adults having vibrant lives, later chapters of life can be stereotyped as a time of pain, difficulty, and loss.”
Such misconceptions can amplify fear, making it harder for people to approach aging with optimism. Emery-Tiburcio argues that focusing on the controllable aspects of life—like health, relationships, and personal growth—can counteract this anxiety. “Focusing on the things we can control … also goes a long way,” she says. This perspective aligns with a 2002 study that found a correlation between positive perceptions of aging and a longer lifespan. Those who viewed aging as a natural and valuable process were more likely to live into their later years, suggesting that mindset plays a role in physical well-being.
Embracing Mortality as a Gift
Despite the challenges, mortality can be a source of strength. Emery-Tiburcio describes bereavement as an opportunity, not just a loss. “Bereavement absolutely can be painful,” she says, “but it’s also an opportunity to say all the things you want to say.” This viewpoint encourages people to see the end of life as a chance to leave a legacy, whether through relationships, accomplishments, or wisdom shared with others. “It’s also an opportunity to be able to leave behind whatever isn’t important to you,” she adds.
Swisher’s exploration of death reveals that even those who embrace life often need to reckon with its end. She shares how incorporating mortality into daily thoughts can transform fear into motivation. “You’re not going to be here forever,” she reflects. “What are you going to do with the time you have?” This question challenges individuals to evaluate their priorities and make the most of their existence. It also suggests that the fear of death, while natural, doesn’t have to be paralyzing. Instead, it can serve as a catalyst for meaningful action.
Dr. Carpenter further notes that the fear of dying doesn’t need to be completely eliminated to be beneficial. “There’s nothing wrong if you feel afraid of dying or afraid of death,” he says. “The second step is to figure out, ‘Well, what do I do with those feelings? … How do I take that fear and make something positive out of it?’” This approach allows people to process their emotions without letting them dictate their lives. Practical preparation, such as organizing affairs or discussing end-of-life wishes with loved ones, can also help ease the transition. “Being afraid to talk or think about death can leave people unprepared for the eventuality,” Carpenter warns. “Preparation can mean putting your affairs in order, talking with loved ones about what you would like to happen after you die, and utilizing the time you have in a way that feels meaningful.”
While some cultures have established rituals to confront mortality—like structured grief practices or philosophical discussions about the afterlife—others may not prioritize it as much. This difference in approach can affect how individuals navigate life’s final stages. Emery-Tiburcio highlights the importance of community in processing these experiences. “Going through those experiences when you lose a loved one and addressing them with your community rather than sweeping the difficult feelings under the rug may help you learn useful lessons about your own life,” she says.
For those seeking to improve their well-being, embracing mortality can be a powerful strategy. By integrating reflections on death into daily life, people may reduce anxiety and foster a deeper appreciation for the present. This practice doesn’t require a complete overhaul of one’s mindset but rather a shift in focus toward what truly matters. As Swisher’s journey shows, thinking about death can be a way to live more intentionally, creating a life that feels purposeful and fulfilling. The key, as both studies and experts suggest, lies in transforming fear into a tool for growth and connection.
Some research even indicates that this mindset shift can lower the risk of early death by up to 40%. By accepting mortality and planning for it, individuals may not only enhance their emotional health but also their physical longevity. This aligns with the broader theme of the CNN series: that the pursuit of a long, happy, and healthy life is not just about extending time, but about using it wisely. Whether through Bhutanese rituals, scientific studies, or personal reflection, the message remains clear—acknowledging death can lead to a more meaningful and joyful existence.
